During the pandemic, I moved far away from the women who shape me and now I miss them and I don’t know how to get close again. Here are some things I can do in the meantime before reunion.
1. Cry
Execute the need to be productive, likeable and sexy.
From your gut, wail like a baby, hug a pillow and lie on the floor.
When you’re breathing normally again, search for the moon out a window.
The moon can’t save you but at least it’s bright.
I often wonder about the people who live in the moon. They aren’t real but at least they are fake.
2. Bathe
If you can bathe, bathe. In a bath, shower, sponge situation. Dunk your head into a cold sink. Blow bubbles.
If this is inaccessible: find light and let that bathe you.
I am currently sitting on a stool, thinking of the clean dishes, wondering if I can fill them with water and pour them over my head. It won’t be friendship, but at least it will be water and water helps us breathe. In fact, water insists that we are breathing.
3. Explore reality
My favorite way to do this is via reality TV which is not the recommended route by any means.
One cool thing I’ve done all my life: Grab a notebook, label it “My Reality” and start to draw all the things around you.
The drawings do not have to be nice. In fact, the worse they are, the better. Let them be drunk. Let them be silly. Start laughing. It’s going to be ok.
4. Call someone
Here’s where you share your reality.
Call a friend and say “I just did the most ridiculous thing” and detail your drawings to them. By this point, you’ll be so tired and delirious from the crying, bathing and drawing, you’ll be having the time of your life.
There is no substitution for friendship.
I miss my friends.
I see people on patios and I wish I was back in my home, making plans with a friend who lives fifteen minutes away and meeting them within the hour.
There will never be a substitute for the people will call Best.
So #5
5. Plan to be closer
Envision a way to be closer to your friends and make it happen.
For instance, I’m moving. Is that severe? Yes. So is friendship, love and absence.
Plan your way. It’s worth it.
Rachel Ganz 