Publishing Eddie, I Hate You. A Memoir by Rachel Ganz has forced me to create new habits. Otherwise, everything I own would be broken and I would be perma-dehydrated. If can’t stop throwing things, try this:
!. EAT
2. THROW THINGS
3. KNEEL DOWN
4. SEARCH FOR THE THING YOU THREW, IS IT BROKEN?
5. YES. OH WELL.
6. CRY
7. THROW THE THING AWAY
8. YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE THIS THING AGAIN
9. MAKE A COFFEE
10. DRINK IT OVER ICE, WITH MILK.
11. OR TEA. YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING WITH TEA.
12. OR SHOULD YOU DRINK ALCOHOL? NO. WHATEVER YOU DO. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL.
13. LISTEN TO A FILM SCORE OR A SYMPHONY.
14. IMAGINE SOMEONE ELSE’S MOVIE. IF YOU CAN WALK, WALK.
15. LAUGH AND CRY AT THE IMAGINARY MOVIE OF SOMEONE ELSE.
16. TALK TO YOURSELF BUT, WHILE YOU TALK TO YOURSELF, TALK TO THE PERSON IN THE MOVIE
17. INTERVIEW THEM, GET TO KNOW THEM.
18. GO BACK TO YOUR DESK.
19. WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THEIR LIFE.
20. TELL NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ABOUT THIS PROJECT.
21. AS YOU MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE, TRY TO REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR PROJECTS TO YOURSELF. THIS WILL MINIMIZE STRESS AND CREATE A BUBBLE OF ENJOYMENT FOR YOU AND THE PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT (ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT YOU.)
22. LEAVE YOUR DESK.
23. GO TALK TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
24. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LISTEN TO THEM TELL YOU THINGS.
25. DRINK WATER.
26. WHEN YOU USE THE BATHROOM, FIGHT THE URGE TO CRY BY REMEMBERING THAT CRYING WHILE SHITTING IS SO FUNNY
27. AND LAUGH
31. WHEN YOU GO TO BED, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LISTEN TO SOMETHING.
32. WHEN YOU WAKE UP, HEAR YOURSELF SAY “NOT ANOTHER DAY”, HEAR YOURSELF SAY “I DON’T WANT TO DO THE THINGS I HAVE TO DO.”
33. RE-WRITE THAT LINE FOR YOURSELF. SAY, “I AM SO EXCITED THAT I GET TO DO ALL THESE THINGS TODAY. WHAT IF I FAIL? HILARIOUS.”
34. GET OUT OF BED.
35. BRUSH AND WASH AND GET NAKED
36. BAPTIZE YOURSELF IN A COLD SHOWER. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP.
37. GET DRESSED IN EXERCISE CLOTHES. BECAUSE, YOU WILL BE EXERCISING.
38. GO TO YOUR DESK.
39. MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE AFRAID OF AND BESIDE EVERY SINGLE THING WRITE THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN AND THE BEST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN.
40. WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL, A LIST OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
41. WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE THINGS YOU DO TO HELP YOURSELF. OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR WRITING. DO THIS AND SMILE.
42. MEDITATE. USE SINGH’S BOOK ON KUNDALINI YOGA.
43. GO FOR A WALK OR RUN. TAKE A DOG IF YOU HAVE ONE. DO IT WITHOUT MUSIC OR ANYTHING IN YOUR EAR.
44. ENJOY THE WORLD.
45. SET A TIME FOR CONVERSATION. IF IT HAS TO BE 9 AM, GREAT. IF YOUR SCHEDULE IS FLEXIBLE, MAKE SURE THE MORNING IS FREE OF PEOPLE. ESPECIALLY FAMILY.
46. SET A TIMER FOR INTERVALS. EVERY 15 MINUTES OR MAYBE 30.
47. AS YOU WORK IN INTERVALS, MOVE ON FROM THE TASKS AS TIME RUNS THEM OUT. IF YOU’RE OVERWHELMED, MAKE A LIST. MAKE A LIST FOR AFTER WORK TOO. CREATE A MAP OF YOUR IDEAL DAY. LET THE TIMER LEAD YOU THROUGH.
48. FOR A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE UNDERGROUND, PICTURE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE AT THE END OF THE DAY: IN BED, AT A MEAL, WALKING, IN A BATH, ON THE GROUND, WHATEVER. PICTURE IT, IMAGINE A PICTURE OF IT ON YOUR DESK AS YOU WORK. GIVE THAT VACATION VALUE IN YOUR HEAD. GET EXCITED TO BE BACK WHERE YOU LOVE TO BE. LET WORK BE A MATTER OF TIME.
49. WHEN YOU HAVE TIME TO WRITE AGAIN, THE VERY FIRST SECOND YOU HAVE, START A TIMER FOR NO MORE THAN 2 HOURS. START BACK AT YOUR JOURNAL. GRAB A QUOTE. WRITE AN ESSAY, WRITE A CHAPTER, WRITE PART OF YOUR BOOK. ENJOY ESCAPING INTO LANGUAGE. DON’T ACTIVELY FEEL FOR THE CONTENTS OF YOUR STORY. JUST LIVE THEM THROUGH WRITING AND LET FEELINGS HAPPEN. GET LOST. GET TIIRED.
50. AT THE SOUND OF THE TMER, END YOUR DAY. IF YOU HAVE MORE TASKS, LET THEM STAY ON YOUR DESK. CLEANING AND COOKING? MAYBE, MAYBE NOT. YOUR JOB IS TO GIVE AND YOU GAVE. THE REST CAN BE A BOILED EGG, AN APPLE, A BOWL OF SPINACH. WIPE THE CONTAINER. FIND YOURSELF IN THE PLACE YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
Please share this post if you know anxious people and we all know anxious people so I expect that you will share this post? (and now I flash you a cute smile and you share it just because why not.)
Eddie, I Hate You. A Memoir by Rachel Ganz, is on shelves this month. Subscribe for more details or take a look through my most recent posts to learn more.
Thank you for being here. You are important and gracious.
Take good care,
-Rachel
Rachel Ganz 