15 Empowering Thoughts About Being A Weirdo On The Internet

If you’re a weirdo, like me, you probably want to make the world a weirder place.

It’s challenging to compete with what’s popular. The hot girls and the kittens.

In an effort to learn more about How To Influence, How To Get Ahead in Social Media, I’m taking one for the team and transforming into a new persona. A Hot Girl/Cat that I call Kara.

1. Sitting on the train,  I take long rides on public transit, watching the phone champions. They put me to shame. I am too weird to be a media-ist. I don’t relate to other people. I don’t want to stare at images of other people. I want to exemplify a way to be that isn’t pretty. Take my photo, post it and write “Win” without further description. No one will look at it.
2. As a human, all I have ever wanted to do is write for other humans: Plays, novels, internet mush. But, so much of what humans consume is conformist garbage that entertains and intrigues them for thirty seconds at a time. How do I influence the world to be weirder?  I have to know the watching population from the inside out.
3. I begin the transformation today.
4. Transformation is the inherent pathway between disgust and beauty. The spirit of forced transformation is dependent on an egotistical obsession with self-construction. Millenials love transformation. Relevant technology is transformative. Soon we will only need A.I. Soon we will never age. Soon we will be bunnies (in photographs).
5. We are obsessed with our image. Tech developers spend their intelligence engineering software so that we can stare at ourselves longer and wonder further about what we would look like if we were transformed. Immediately, as if we are all collaborating on a documentary about self-obsession, we post these images, competing to discover who is the best at being the same.
6. All we ever want are vacations from our denial.
7. We will never stop feeling disgusting.
8. Digital media heightens our obsession with aesthetics. The beautiful are getting stronger. The cats are all we want. I did not grow up beautiful. I do not call myself beautiful. I won’t ever laugh at my image. On a good day, I can actually look in the mirror long enough to get dressed. Usually I spend an entire day at home afraid to leave because I worry that I disgust people, eating a cake, sometimes still frozen, wondering if I should write down that I have eaten a cake forgetting all about the world, all about the trends, the news, the people. There is no point to self-construction if there is no perceived point to the self. Why build her if she isn’t going anywhere?
9. If you want to be seen, you have to assume your right to be here.
10. I have invented myself into a hot kitten, I call her Kara. I decided that Kara is beautiful and I have come to realize how easy it is to be as beautiful as the women who seemingly invented beauty. It is as simple as looking at the camera a certain way (I studied Nicole Richie), taking yourself seriously and assuming a right to present yourself. to let her be here. Of course, it is simple to do that when I’m Kara because Kara looks and thinks like everyone else. I have let her be proud. I have no real clue what she is proud of but I decided that she’s proud and so that’s how she is
11. As a human I often lie awake and plan my death because I give up on my relevance. As a cat, I don’t care, I know what I offer and I stare at the world fearlessly because hey I am a damn tiger.
12. Kara takes pictures of everything. I have no idea now, sitting here, in my bare face, curly hair, dirty writing sweater, I have no idea what made everything so much a part of Kara’s world as if everything was placed on the ground just for Kara as if she had to report it because she is the only one seeing it because she is that brilliant. She isn’t brilliant. She took pictures of trees and rugs and clothing. But, she insists that they are exciting. Isn’t this beautiful, isn’t this cool, tail in the air, head held high. It is as easy as being exactly who she is.
13. I am who she is.
14. Cats focus until they need a nap. When they wake up, they rediscover the world, they make no assumptions, they advance their relationships based on the here and now.

Tomorrow Kara will look for a job.

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