The art of employability

Last week my dad cut me off.

I’m old. I need a job.

I have a lot of writing experience but none of it collects neatly on a CV or resume.

My dad has been paying me for a while.

He and my grandfather have generously funded my pursuit of art celebrity for….ever.

I was never comfortable with the arrangement but who can say no to nepotistic miracles??

I took the money, excusing my casual adult failure by accepting that Virginia Woolf would have happily taken her father’s money if it meant staying home and writing all day so I did it, I took the money and I wrote two novels and now dad has said: “You know that salary? (short pause) (terminating hand gesture) (end of conversation).

No problem. Right? I guess.

Except that: Unemployabilty IS a problem. In fact, it’s the most stressful personal problem known to (theoretically) the global populas.

Yesterday I applied for three separate job postings, each of which had already received over three hundred applications.

My mother told me to research “How To Make My Resume Stand Out”, a further depressing exercise considering each headline involved the words “past the job seeking robots” as in the digital sorting programs that read through resumes before a human ever has their chance to see them.

The realities of job hunting are disastrous. I sit back and wonder whether or not I am even employable.

Am I employable? Sure. But, can I outdo the hundreds of people who are applying for the same job as me? Maybe with enough work…

This entire blog started as an essay series and then became a different series and now is stuck in this zone where I just publish my thoughts on things as they happen but I don’t have time for that anymore.

I am spending all my time now on being more HER. More HER, the woman who can write for any user experience, market any point of view or product or otherwise and sing to the people for the sake of ANY brand, any public purpose, any cause.

If you are an employer who has been sent to this site via my resume or LinkedIn account, hi, guess what: I can do all those things. I am very likeable, easy to work with, happy to take notes and make revisions, curious about new topics, generous in the amount of time I give to making things, things for anyone, things for the world. I am awesome. Take me in and I will make you proud, happy, calmer.

In the case that you are not employer, and you’re here because I write in a way that makes you feel a particular way (which is most of you), thank you for reading and let me introduce to a new writing series that will chronicle the efforts of the unemployable.

If YOU are feeling unemployable and poor and just generally overwhelmed by your future, come here and read a bit of validating evidence that YOU are not alone.

WORTH YOUR MONEY is a series of essays sharing the labour involved in finding labour. Most of you are worth money, believe me. One day someone will pay you for something. But, for now, as long as you have time, subscribe and read.

Thank you reader, see you soon.


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